April 19th, 2010

Dear God,

  Thank you for giving me rest today Father God, thank you for easing my mind - especially with the countless things racing through it, I know you will handle it all better than I could ever imagine and you will deal with it accordingly and in Your Time.  Thank you for guiding Ben to work and back home safely and above all Lord, thank you blessing us with another day to live and see your glorious beauty - all of which I saw today in the gorgeous day you made.  I know Ive been complaining a lot about the weather - and I know that theres another storm brewing for us - on many levels, but I know you will see us through those storms, and come out victorious because of YOU.  It was a beautiful day today Lord, and Im especially thankful that you kept the bees and wasps at bay - you know how much they scare me hehehe

   Forgive me my trespasses today Lord, Im not perfect and I dont claim to be but there are some who think I do... Im sorry they feel that way, I dont have authority over them and I especially don't have authority over you - WHO AM I?? Lord, I seek your council on the matters of the heart Lord, you know our hearts desires and you know what's driving me crazy at the moment too - in all things I leave them in your clear and steady hands because mine are too unstable to hold such ordeals.  I love you Lord, Im soo thankful that you have me in your grasp and that whatever may come my way - I know you have a Plan and an Order to this - You are in Control and the Driver in my lifes journey.  You know Im trying to let go and I ask for your help in that.  I give my ALL to you and I'll try not to take control of it again, I'll try.

Thank you for All you have blessed me with and Thank you for Living in me.  Your presence in our home, our marriage and our families is felt all around.  I love you Lord, thank you again for today.  I love you always, Your daughter.

Letters to God

Today, Ben and I went to watch Letters to God... I didnt particularly feel like it only because I was in a pretty sour mood - earlier today I had been told some information regarding the distribution of a umm... rumor regarding myself and my husband, WOW!! we're special enough to have a rumor about us woohoo, I say that now but at the time it had gotten me all messed up, so I wasnt in the right state of mind to see a movie pertaining to God or Letters to Him.. I just wanted to have this moment to gripe & complain, without asking God to calm me down, without having to forgive the person/s who started this rumor - I wanted to sit in a corner and sulk but  Ben dragged me along anyway... and this movie gave me the perfect idea for my blog -  ... I dont know if anyone else is doing this on Blogspot or in the World Wide Web - but I say if I need to be more prayerful - WHY NOT do it while Im blogging - Im going to write my own Letters to God! Im slowly coming to grips with this rumor thing, it still hurts - especially since its family that started said rumor - but I know I live my life according to HIS Will and not theirs so - their judgement and backstabbing will not affect how we live, and the decisions we make. WE LOVED THE MOVIE TOO BTW lol I almost forgot to tell you how we liked the movie. So here begins my Letters to God:

Dear God,
   You know my hearts desires and the things that weigh heavy on it also - if it pleases you Lord, grant me those desires and heal me of this heavy burden.  I pray for those who speak ill against us Lord, I pray that you grant me the strength to see past this and continue to love them.  Lord, Thank you soo much for my husband, thank you for blessing me with a wonderful man who's one wish is to make sure Im happy, this man who backs me up regardless of what comes our way and supports me no matter what others do or say to him.  I love him Lord and pray you bless him with all He needs, bless him with Health Lord and Thank you once more for him. 

   Collectively, we thank you for our parents, our brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews and for our entire families and network of friends - those who have come into our lives and showed us love and support and those who continue to do so today.  Thank you for sooo much in my life Lord, I am not worthy of the substantial Love you shower me with - day in and day out - regardless of how I treat you.  Forgive me Lord for my inequities and misgivings, forgive me for my wrong-doings to others and the ill things that come out of my mouth and even those that remain in my head.  I know that through Christ All Things are Possible and I know that sometimes I loose track of that - but I continue to work at it Lord, I thank you and Love you and Thank you again and again for Loving Us. 

For all that you have done for me, blessed me with and lovingly shown me - I am soo truly thankful.  I love you always, your daughter xox Ria

Looking Up

Today I read Jonathan Dow's "The Listening Well" , and what an awesome reminder this was.

All too often, we are soo busy looking down watching where were going, or looking ahead to the future of what we want to achieve or gain, or even looking behind us to see where we've been or whats chasing us, we get soo caught up in life that we let it overcome us and start to drag us down, and to top it off we look to other people, places or things to keep our mind from going crazy and furthermore we tell ourselves that we're doing this in order to Live the Dream  or Live the Life. When in actual fact what we need to do is Look Up and Seek Him, Seek God, Seek HIS Will in my Life. 

My blog is called Seeking My Salvation - and unfortunately, I havent done that.  I lost myself along the way, I got caught up looking ahead, looking down, to the sides and looking back that I forgot to Look Up.  I know from reading my last few posts that Ive been in a darkness but even though I know this wasnt as dark as the dark I once was in, it was getting closer... Ive noticed this in the relationships I keep, the things I read & watch and the things that come out of my mouth.  Lord, please forgive me... help me to find my way back to You and Seeking you and Your Kingdom. 

Lately, Ive had to make some re-arrangements in my life... there were things I recently made decisions on that were based on what others would think of me or approve of me doing, things to better the viewpoint of others about me.  I need for that to end, one of those decisions was the termination of Project OCC - Operation Complete College.  I am not in anyway saying that Education is not important, it is very important.. but the Education I need to seek right now is the Education of God in my Life.  I haven't been happy lately, and I dont want this unhappiness to continue.  And NO... this has nothing to do with my marriage, that is still an enjoyment and a blessing in my life - I am truly thankful for a wonderful & caring husband, we're not perfect but hes my blessing.  However, other drama filled relationships will cease, I refuse it in my life, and I refuse to let it drag me down.  I am ripping that last piece of paper and sending it down the Listening Well, because from now on... I LOOK UP!

 

Seed of Offence

Todays day started off great, had a great catch up and an awesome laugh with Sharn about Oper2012 - then had a korero (Maori for talk, chinwag, chit chat) with Dee but as high as those notes were it ended very sour, Ive had a seed of offence (similar to a seed of doubt - except its not doubt, rather being offended) planted... and I dont know how to figure this one out or deal with it - right now Im not doing a very good job with it. 

I know that God has planned this for a lesson learnt and im trying to see it, Lord Humble me to see Through Your Eyes, I lift this person in prayer and Thank you for bringing them into my life, I ask you to show me what it is Im to learn from them or if I'm to teach... take my mouth and voice and use it for Your Will.  I need to pray on this one for a bit, cos Ive tried to write this blog entry three times now and all three times Ive sounded very angry... the seed of offence still has roots and Im working at digging those out.  I plan to live my life without planting more weeds in My Garden.  Lord grant me the patience, serenity and kindness to do YOUR WILL.   I love you Lord Jesus xox

Blizzards & Crazy Drivers

Ok so it wasnt a blizzard.. but when you've never driven in snowinglikecrazyicantseeathinginfrontofme weather.. its SCARY! And to top it off, I was the only one driving according to the conditions... apparently most people in Utah, upon the sight of snow, decide this is the ideal time to practice speed-racing.  Driving home from school last night was not fun.  But All Glory to God, I made it safely home and in One piece. Take that you crazy drivers.

On a much uplifting tone - Yesterday marked the beginning of a couple of self-projects:
1. Operation Complete College (OCC) and
2. Operation 2012 (Oper12). 

As told in a my previous blog, Im back at Uni in order to complete what I started in NZ - this is now called OCC, and thats the explanation of that lol.

Oper12 however, was born from a Sat night discussion with my girlfriend Sharn regarding our recent weight-Gain over Xmas and ... ummm ok before that too lol, after weighing out the pros and cons lol ideal weights were decided, actionplans planned, timeframes given  and our goal reward - a 2012 Reunion - agreed upon.  Sharn & I met at college in NZ many moons ago, we were inseparable right up until we both made the move overseas with our husbands - she to Australia and I to America, we've not seen each other since 2007 (at my sisters wedding) but we talk very frequently - Comcast loves me for that.  So we're on track to start diet-diary emailing, and together (with our spouses) we're going to shed our extra selves lol. 

SO WATCH THIS SPACE...   

Btw, Im not game enough to post a Biggest Looser Before photo (save your eyes the trauma lol) but I will post along the way how were doing. Heres a flick to have a giggle at tho.  It made me laugh, I think I might use it as our motivator hehe.  

God blessed me with a temple, I have to look after and maintain it - and so, yet a new chapter(s) in this long journey begins.  God Bless you all with your goals and achievements this week, month and year. 

THANK YOU...

JESUS for being obedient and coming down when your Father asked you to come and die on the cross for my sins, when asked how much you loved us - you spread your arms out and died.  I LOVE YOU JESUS

GOD for sending your one and only, one of a kind, perfectly created Son to witness to us your love and desire to have us close to You - Im coming home.

Sometimes I sit and wander ... Who am I? that He would willingly and lovingly do ALL THIS for me. 


"Jesus, Remember me when you come in to Your Kingdom"  Luke 23:42

HAPPY EASTER & THANK YOU FATHER GOD, THANK YOU LORD JESUS