Looking Up

Today I read Jonathan Dow's "The Listening Well" , and what an awesome reminder this was.

All too often, we are soo busy looking down watching where were going, or looking ahead to the future of what we want to achieve or gain, or even looking behind us to see where we've been or whats chasing us, we get soo caught up in life that we let it overcome us and start to drag us down, and to top it off we look to other people, places or things to keep our mind from going crazy and furthermore we tell ourselves that we're doing this in order to Live the Dream  or Live the Life. When in actual fact what we need to do is Look Up and Seek Him, Seek God, Seek HIS Will in my Life. 

My blog is called Seeking My Salvation - and unfortunately, I havent done that.  I lost myself along the way, I got caught up looking ahead, looking down, to the sides and looking back that I forgot to Look Up.  I know from reading my last few posts that Ive been in a darkness but even though I know this wasnt as dark as the dark I once was in, it was getting closer... Ive noticed this in the relationships I keep, the things I read & watch and the things that come out of my mouth.  Lord, please forgive me... help me to find my way back to You and Seeking you and Your Kingdom. 

Lately, Ive had to make some re-arrangements in my life... there were things I recently made decisions on that were based on what others would think of me or approve of me doing, things to better the viewpoint of others about me.  I need for that to end, one of those decisions was the termination of Project OCC - Operation Complete College.  I am not in anyway saying that Education is not important, it is very important.. but the Education I need to seek right now is the Education of God in my Life.  I haven't been happy lately, and I dont want this unhappiness to continue.  And NO... this has nothing to do with my marriage, that is still an enjoyment and a blessing in my life - I am truly thankful for a wonderful & caring husband, we're not perfect but hes my blessing.  However, other drama filled relationships will cease, I refuse it in my life, and I refuse to let it drag me down.  I am ripping that last piece of paper and sending it down the Listening Well, because from now on... I LOOK UP!

 

Seed of Offence

Todays day started off great, had a great catch up and an awesome laugh with Sharn about Oper2012 - then had a korero (Maori for talk, chinwag, chit chat) with Dee but as high as those notes were it ended very sour, Ive had a seed of offence (similar to a seed of doubt - except its not doubt, rather being offended) planted... and I dont know how to figure this one out or deal with it - right now Im not doing a very good job with it. 

I know that God has planned this for a lesson learnt and im trying to see it, Lord Humble me to see Through Your Eyes, I lift this person in prayer and Thank you for bringing them into my life, I ask you to show me what it is Im to learn from them or if I'm to teach... take my mouth and voice and use it for Your Will.  I need to pray on this one for a bit, cos Ive tried to write this blog entry three times now and all three times Ive sounded very angry... the seed of offence still has roots and Im working at digging those out.  I plan to live my life without planting more weeds in My Garden.  Lord grant me the patience, serenity and kindness to do YOUR WILL.   I love you Lord Jesus xox

Blizzards & Crazy Drivers

Ok so it wasnt a blizzard.. but when you've never driven in snowinglikecrazyicantseeathinginfrontofme weather.. its SCARY! And to top it off, I was the only one driving according to the conditions... apparently most people in Utah, upon the sight of snow, decide this is the ideal time to practice speed-racing.  Driving home from school last night was not fun.  But All Glory to God, I made it safely home and in One piece. Take that you crazy drivers.

On a much uplifting tone - Yesterday marked the beginning of a couple of self-projects:
1. Operation Complete College (OCC) and
2. Operation 2012 (Oper12). 

As told in a my previous blog, Im back at Uni in order to complete what I started in NZ - this is now called OCC, and thats the explanation of that lol.

Oper12 however, was born from a Sat night discussion with my girlfriend Sharn regarding our recent weight-Gain over Xmas and ... ummm ok before that too lol, after weighing out the pros and cons lol ideal weights were decided, actionplans planned, timeframes given  and our goal reward - a 2012 Reunion - agreed upon.  Sharn & I met at college in NZ many moons ago, we were inseparable right up until we both made the move overseas with our husbands - she to Australia and I to America, we've not seen each other since 2007 (at my sisters wedding) but we talk very frequently - Comcast loves me for that.  So we're on track to start diet-diary emailing, and together (with our spouses) we're going to shed our extra selves lol. 

SO WATCH THIS SPACE...   

Btw, Im not game enough to post a Biggest Looser Before photo (save your eyes the trauma lol) but I will post along the way how were doing. Heres a flick to have a giggle at tho.  It made me laugh, I think I might use it as our motivator hehe.  

God blessed me with a temple, I have to look after and maintain it - and so, yet a new chapter(s) in this long journey begins.  God Bless you all with your goals and achievements this week, month and year. 

THANK YOU...

JESUS for being obedient and coming down when your Father asked you to come and die on the cross for my sins, when asked how much you loved us - you spread your arms out and died.  I LOVE YOU JESUS

GOD for sending your one and only, one of a kind, perfectly created Son to witness to us your love and desire to have us close to You - Im coming home.

Sometimes I sit and wander ... Who am I? that He would willingly and lovingly do ALL THIS for me. 


"Jesus, Remember me when you come in to Your Kingdom"  Luke 23:42

HAPPY EASTER & THANK YOU FATHER GOD, THANK YOU LORD JESUS

Thank you ACE - New Zealand

Wooohooo, today I had Orientation for college - I am officially (for the second time in my lifetime lol) a College Student, I never mentioned it earlier because it didnt really sink in that I was going back to college until I completed Orientation today.  I've always wanted to go back to school to complete college but only if I could find something I really enjoyed and could possibly be my passion - unlike some people, I still havent found my passion - someday (maybe during this semester) I will find this passion or at least move towards it, till then I'll just have to do my best and learn something new along the way. 

A couple of years ago I had the chance to start college again while we were living in California, unfortunately the discounted fee of $25 per class was only valid to CA residence of 2yrs or more, we had just moved to California so we didnt qualify and because of my temporary status with my Green Card I didnt think I would qualify for Financial Aid or any Student Loan - well 2vyears after that we were making the move to Utah so it worked out after all,  and since moving to Utah, completing college had dropped off my To-Do list, until one day hubby and I were talking and he said something about me going back to school - (sidenote:  the fact that my husband brought this up in the first place is one thing, but what amazes me is he brought it up after he had been laid off and been unsuccesful at finding work in almost 2mths - thank you Lord for using my husband, thank you for my husband)...  So I truly believed that this was the time for me to do this. I started thinking about what I wanted to study - and after changing my mind almost 500x - I did my research on which Uni would be best for me, I called around and emailed requests and together we went through countless brochures and booklets  and looked at the pros and cons of each school.  Finally we decided on a Uni that was more for Adult Professionals - so I can still work and study part time. So in the process of getting my application in and applying for Financial Aid, I started to bug hubby about him going back to school too and doing some study of his own... lol well after a long and heated (mostly on my side) discussion about him not being a pilot, fire-fighter or whatever other life threatening job that could possibly take him away from me for long extended periods - we decided it was better if we just started with me first hehehe Baby Steps.  

The only thing that held me back was a little thing called a "transcript" - since this was not my first time as a college student, I was asked to obtain my transcript from my last college - ACE - this is a fairly easy task, the problem was - the last time I was in college... I was reallyyy in college, I lived the boozer college student life, I drank the college spirit - I literally could not remember whole days, months or even what classes I took and I knew my transcipt would be, if anything, just a slap in the face and a reminder of days long forgotten (BUT FORGIVEN)  

Well, I got my transcript back, and it was extremely horrible and just proof of how naughty (and reckless) I was back then, but it was enough to humble me and to hit home the realization that his time I had to do this right and with commitment.  Isnt God AMAZING how he uses little things like college transcripts to remind you not to go back down that same destructive path.  And needless to say, as bad as my transcript was - it was enough to give me enough credits to start this year as a sophmore - YAY!!! THANK YOU ACE!!

Sooo... today it began, I have my books & my class schedule and tomorrow I'm stationary shopping - Im soo excited about all the possibilities that will open up and scared of those same possibilities all at the same time - something I now realise I didnt feel either of when I first started college all those years ago.

Im soo very thankful that we serve a God of Second Chances and New Beginnings.  Thank you Lord Jesus, go before me Father God and light my way - a Million thank yous.  I love you x

Workplace Humor

This month I was made Employee of the Month at my work.  It was both an honor and a shock, firstly because I didnt even know that we had an Employee of the Month award, apparently its a new thing at work and I was the first person to get it and secondly, I felt that there are soo many other deserving colleagues who could easily have gotten it.  I am truly thankful to those who chose me for this award and humbled to know that I am looked upon by my colleagues with respect of this achievement. 

A couple of funny stories follow from my getting such an achievement. I seem to be getting quite a bit of slack from my colleagues now if I mess up.  Firstly, I now have the duty of writing up workschedules and at the bottom of the March schedules I jokingly wrote ~No one allowed to be sick ~ As Murphy's Law would have it, on the very first day of March, who should call in sick?.. none other than Yours truly HAHAHAHA.  Ironcally, on that day in Feb when I posted the March Schedule on the Notice board, a colleagues had commented that the schedule should actually read everyone but myself wasnt allowed to get sick, to which I rather confidently retalliated... "Umm Whatever, I never call in sick!!! so there" and I'll be damned if it wasnt her that I was scheduled to work with that fateful 1st day of March.  Lesson learnt : Never make cheeky remarks when writing work schedules. Lol

And just yesterday, yet another colleague returned an incomplete folder to me, advising a form was missing - thats ok its easily forgotten and easily corrected, and he was on his jolly way in no time.  Not even 5mins later, the same colleague was back with yet another folder and another missing form - not able to blame anyone else since I was the only person working the front desk, I apologised again and completed the folder and form, but another 5mins later - that same colleague returned with a 3rd folder.  I looked up, slumped my shoulders and said "What now?"  to which he replied,  "Do I really need to show you how to do your job?"... followed by... "I need to tell you that since receiving Employee of the Month, your work standards has been lacking quite a bit"  hahahaha his teasing continued with laughter from my other (supportive hmmm) colleagues with threats of a recount, and demotion until the 3rd folder had been corrected.  About 30mins later, he returned and gave me the form I had completed and another form exactly the same without my rushed handwriting, and said "Here, I dont need this form, I had one already, I just wanted to see you squirm" and ran away laughing.  Lesson learnt:  Mess up once, Shame on me, Mess up twice... Shame on me again, Mess up 3x... I asked for it!! lol

I am soo thankful to be blessed with, not just a job in these economically unstable times, but a job with truly amazing down to earth and fun people, yes we all have our imperfections but when you look for the worst in people, you'll no doubt find it, thankfully I work with people that openly say "I love you" and truly care about your wellbeing and just enjoy working.  I pray everyone gets to work with people as amazing as I do, and to experience what working with a GREAT attitude is.  My mother always taught me to give everything I do - 110%, and do it with genuine character and love - that is my Work Standard.  Thank you Mum, and Thank you Lord for blessing me with ALL that I have. 

Its 0409am. I couldnt sleep, so I figured I would update my blog, and now with peace in my heart I'm heading off to bed hehe.  God Bless and Goodnite err I mean Good morning.

Where are you Spring?

Did someone forget to tell the weather that it is officially Spring?  The first official day (Sat 20th March) and the day thereafter were amongst the most beautiful days I had ever seen since the beginning of October... unfortunately, thats where those beautiful days ended.  Tonight we're expecting snow and continuing on through to the weekend... WHAT???

Who am I to tell the weather what I want it to do? But it would be soo nice if Spring was spring and not just a late winter hehe.  Its days like those 1st two days of Spring that I remember being home in NZ and the countless things we used to do together with the whole family, go for walks, spring clean (ugh) and play at the park... or sneak away just by myself to the airport lookout and watch the planes come in and leave - thinking about Ben and how far away he was and then missing him even more.  Now I stand outside my porch and watch the planes fly over and think about one day getting back on that plane to visit home... I'm still undecided about whether we're going to move back there or not.  For now, we'll wait on the Lord, all I do know is that Im seriously homesick and believe it or not, I think my husband feels the same way too hehehe.  Maybe I can still make a Kiwi outta him.  Neway, for now Im gonna leave this blog with a prayer to my Father Above to send back those beautiful spring days, to bless those around us - our families and friends and to see into our hearts and supply according to his Will.  Have a Beautiful day and God's Love and Glory be upon you and your families x 

I wonder why?

A conversation with a very good friend recently lead to our blogs and lack of updates - it became apparent to both of us that we hadnt been as diligent to our blogs as we once were with our Diaries as teenagers.  I remember getting a new diary every year and using every single page, I had a lot to say back then, both on paper and in person, this has all changed somehow... what happened? 

Have I had enough of people asking what accent I have that I refuse to talk now?,  or Have I surrounded myself with enough depressed & drama-filled people to suck the life out of me? Or maybe enduring my first White Winter in Utah has given me a very bad case of Winter Blues?  ... Or (and I think this is the winner...) Maybe Im Homesick? Whatever it is, it ends here. I will update as often as I can possibly update.......

..... but right now Ive got work to do BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Morningside for Life.  I miss New Zealand.

March Madness

Ive lived in America for almost 4yrs now - of which we've lived in 3 different states lol - so Ive often heard the term "March Madness" being thrown around when it came to College Sports but never knew what it was or pertained to - well thanks to hubby I have now been enlightened and yes... Its of no importance to me whatsoever hehehe.

So Im going to blog about my own March Madness... In my family March is very important - its the second most birthdays in our family (NZ wise), October is the Foremost important (cause its my birthday lol) and since marrying Ben, it turns out March  (and funnily ... October) are also important dates with May topping out as the most birthdays. 

With that, its a Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday to Sister Shirl (3rd), Brother Eli (22nd), Nephew Siah (24), Cuzn's Lance (8th), Uso (16th), Nessa (23rd) and Ikester (26th) and most importantly Granma Mau (20th).

Because of the latter, hubby travelled to AZ to celebrate Granma Mau's 80th, with a pit-stop in Vegas to spend some time with his brothers and sisters and their kids... I had to work so I stayed behind, Id like to say I was strong and managed but I was bored and missed hubby terribly.  Since I moved to America it has always been me leaving and never vice versa, this change was not very well met - but I dealt with it.  And He returned to me with stories of fun, family parties and emergencies.. it seems with the high that was Granma's 80th, when it came time to say their goodbyes it was all too much for Gamma, and they had to rush her to ER.  Many returned home after seeing her at the hospital, and we've been prayerful since then.  All Glory to God, she (as of today) is no longer in the ICU.  She still has to stay at the hospital and the girls in AZ have organized a schedule so she is never alone - WHAT AN AWESOME FAMILY!! 

Ben with his brothers, sisters, nieces and nephew at ER visiting Grandma the day after her 80th birthday.

We keep you in prayers Granma, and I send a prayer up for all the family members, mine and hubby's, who are ailing in poor health or hurting joints.  Father God, your Healing Hands touch them and give them comfort.  I love you and thank you for Granma's 80yrs and for your Loving touch over our families.  

Thank you abundantly for being with me night and day while Ben was away - and keeping him safe on his travels.  LORD, YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME!

Above Left: P. Family Boys/  Above Right:  P Family Girls

Above Left:  Ben with his brothers Nee & Ray/  Above Right: Ben with his cuzn's & nephews

Apologies..

I just watched this video on Youtube; 10 Things You Need to Know about Samoa and I felt compelled to write and apologise to the poor guy who uploaded the video because of all the rude comments left on his page.  So I wrote and apologised to him for having to read what some small-minded idiots claiming so-called pride in their country had to say by posting replies with trash-talk & profanity - profanity which ironically isn't accepted in Samoa either, so not only are they small-minded idiots but they are disgraceful Samoans as well.  Im especially disgusted at how easily the swearing comes to kids now, Im not claiming "angelic divinity" of any sort by the way - Ive been down that road but it just seems to me that with the technology available today to our kids, their use of ...err colourful vocab seems to start a lot younger than normal - am I wrong?
Unfortunately, nowadays, when you can hide behind a computer and say whatever trash pops into your head... the negative seems to come through much louder than the positive. I was glad to see that some Samoans did come through and say they enjoyed it, and I too enjoyed it. We always claim to be victims when another culture does not understand us, but yet get offended when they make the effort to understand, and isn't if funny how we can poke fun and even say some very offensive stuff to each other as long as its within our own culture, but if someone of another race tries to do the same thing - its OFFENSIVE and we end up doing some kind of Protest March for it.  Hmm...

Do we not teach our older kids to lead their younger siblings by example?  Aren't we, as parents, teachers, older members of the families & communities, suppose to lead by that same example?  So why is it that we get all loud and defensive when someone tries to embrace our culture and learn something from us - Greedy much?  I realise this doesnt just pertain to this particular video but to all cultures on earth, a friend of mine posted a very cool saying as their Facebook Update today - I want to share it with you because I think it matches what Ive been blogging about.

To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right. Confucius 

Heavenly Father, please help us set our hearts right, our families in order, our nation and world in peace.  In that order and by your Grace & Power, Amen.  Be Blessed x