Crashing

Remember those days in your past where certain events in your life felt like the world was crashing down around you, where you didnt know where you were going, what you were doing, where you needed to be or who you needed to be... you know those "whats the meaning of life?" type days, well lately those type of days have become frequent (often daily) visitors.  I try and talk myself out of the shell, explain the reasons behind it - possibly homesickness, lack of sun, high elevation, lack of money... but each time I give myself an explanation it seems to open that hole a little wider and bigger adding to my evergrowing confusion and bitterness.  

Those moments back in the pasts, looking back at them now - dont seem so big with one of God's own miracles he shines a light on the correct path that I needed to follow.  Right now, Im not on that path... in fact Im far off that path and the most hurtful thing of all is that if I dont get this down, I could easily drag another person down with me - and I refuse to let that happen. I need to get myself back, my friends need their gurl back, my family needs their sister, daughter and aunty back and dearest to my heart - I know my husband needs his wife back and man do I miss her. I miss being her, I miss knowing my place in this world and most importantly, knowing my place with GOD.

For now, this Blog journey ends here... we need to take some time out and walk through that valley, share some conversations with God, and seek only His guidance. Till we meet again at the end of that valley.  God Bless and Soifua x